My New Big Breasts
| The early morning sun shone down on the ancient walls of Giant's Pass castle. It fell on patches of green moss clinging to the weathered stone blocks which formed the the Outer and Inner Wards. It cast small square shadows from the eastern battlements onto the rampart behind them. It sparkled uselessly against the only window in the castle, the stained glass panes now covered in dirt and hiding the long disused Royal Chapel from view. But the glittering day made a brave showing of the banner of King Argud the Defiler flying high above the Keep and reflected brightly from the string of wind polished skulls decorating the flagpost. A few rays of shimmering sunlight even penetrated the arrow slits of the Prison Tower, to be instantly snuffed out amidst the pitch black stench of despair and corrupting flesh. Many more were wasted in falling on the steaming surface of the castle moat and its covering of rotting turds. King Argud and his Master-At-Arms were no fools. Any attacking soldier who fell into that reeking grey-blue slush of slimy semi-liquid with even the smallest of wounds on his body would soon be dying a most painful and poisonous death. The smell on a warm day was truly awful but since nearly everybody in the Royal household stank like a dead goat anyway it was of no great consequence. And there was always a price to pay for magical protection. The King should have been in his counting house, counting out his money. Unfortunately, there was hardly any to count, since there was nobody in marching distance who had anything left worth stealing. So instead the monarch had taken a newly arrived serving wench into the buttery, bent her over a table and applied double handfuls of butter Full story |
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